HOW TO WRITE w/ Professor Matt is an animated web series that teaches the basics of narrative writing.
Teachers: The best way to utilize this series is to first have your students read the sample scene, comment individually, then all watch the video together.
In this episode:
-Openings
-The “Waking Up” Problem
-Cliches
-Tense Shifts
Step 1
Read the Scene
Writer: Dominic
Title: “Rocky”
My neck was sore when I woke up. The car ride was 3 hours long; I was asleep for 2 and half of those hours. I realize that we must be close. A few minutes later, Dad tells me we’re here.
We get out of the car. It’s cloudy out. It was raining before we got to the farm. The house stood off to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere. Even through the fog you can see rolling hills covered in trees and long grass meadows for as far as the eye can see. The farmer comes out not long after we park. I stood with mom while dad went forward to introduce himself. His kids are there too. A girl that doesn’t look much older than me, and a boy who must have been about five or six years old. I try to wave at them, but they both shared the same blank expression on their faces.
The kids didn’t hold my interest for long. They weren’t the reason we came all the way out here. The farmer leads us over to the pen. There’s two of them in there. They’re both young, no more than 6 weeks old. Their fur is brown, like cinnamon. Their ears flapped through the air as they chased each other around the pen. Mom and Dad are talking to the farmer, but I’m not listening to what they’re saying. My attention is on the two puppies that are running around in front of me. It’s only when the farmer talks to me that I take notice.
“Want to go in there?” he asks me.
Before I can answer the door is already open. Now I’m running around with them. Jumping, laughing and rolling around on the ground. I try to reach out to the first pup but the second one tackles me before I can reach it. I get back up and I continue the chase. This goes on for what feels like hours. In reality, it was probably only ten minutes.
After the three of us are tired out, Mom calls me out of the pen. The farmer and the Dad shake hands and Dad heads over to the car. He opens the trunk and takes out a large, black slab of what looks like metal bars. He quickly unfolds this into a small cage. I look back to the farmer and he’s holding one of the puppies in his hands. I can feel the joy bubbling up inside my chest.
Until I look past him into the pen, where the second pup sits there, crying. The further his brother gets from the chain-link fence, the louder his cries become.
“What about him?” I ask Mom.
“You know we could only take one honey.” she tells me.
I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I start to cry along with the lonely pup in the pen. Mom picks me up and carries me to the car. Through the tears, I see the farmer’s children, with the same blank expressions on their faces. They watch me as Mom puts me in the backseat, with the first little puppy in the cage with me. I look out the window and I watch as the two children brings the second puppy into the house. I begin to calm down. At least they won’t leave him outside all alone.
Then I realize that the puppy next to me is crying too. I put my fingers through the bars and tell him “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.”
When we get home, Mom gives me the new collar. I slide it over my new dog’s head and hold him close. It has two things written on it; our home phone number, and his name, Rocky.
Step 2
Watch the Video
Now watch the tutorial and see the text the way a published author sees it. You can apply what you learn to your own writing.
*If you’re a teacher showing these videos in class, you can have your students add their feedback in the comments before watching. 1) Favorite line or image, 2) What you liked about the scene overall (what is its potential?), 3) How can it be better?
Matthew Ross Smith is an author and award-winning writing professor. His first novel, Lizzy Legend (Aladdin Books/Simon and Schuster) is out in early 2019.
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EPISODE ONE – YOUR OPENING LINES
Matthew Ross Smith 
Alex Kirberger
Overall I liked this reading, mostly because it was about dogs and it made me think of my dog. I kind of wish the reading went on for a bit longer and didn’t end so abruptly after he put the collar on the dog. One of the parts I thought showed lots of emotion was, “Until I look past him into the pen, where the second pup sits there, crying. The further his brother gets from the chain-link fence, the louder his cries become.” This kind of made me think about how horrible it is that at birth so many dogs are split up from there brothers and sisters.
I also got a puppy awhile ago and she had 3 other sisters, I wish I could take them all but there were to many. Only now am I thinking of how I separated my dog and her family when she was just a puppy.
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I really liked this story. It hit me emotionally in a quiet, but deep way. It’s definitely sad, especially when the second puppy gets left behind, but it also feels honest and important. It made me think about how even happy moments can have a layer of sadness, and how some decisions aren’t easy, even when they’re necessary. The way it was written made that feeling come through really clearly. It stuck with me.
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Kristal Aikins
I enjoyed this reading, because it was very cute and how the author describes his emotions during the scenes was very heartfelt. There definitely were moments when I was reading where I was confused where the story was going and what exactly they were doing there, so maybe the author could’ve added better clarity. But at the same time it did keep the readers at the edge of their seats. Overall, this story showcased emotional framing through key memories.
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Tina Nguyen
I really enjoyed the story and how it was told. I liked how the author set up the scene in order to introduce the highlight of the story: meeting the puppy that will eventually go home with him. When I started reading the story, I had many questions, one of them was “what was the purpose of the visit?” The author directed the story to answer the burning question. He was getting a puppy to bring home. I also liked the overall tone and mood of this writing. The puppy is separated from his sibling and the author is upset about the separation and how he is the reason for it. Overall, it is bittersweet story and it make us readers feel pity for the puppy and empatheic towards the author. However, not all of my curiousities were satisfied. I still wonder why those kids had a blank stare and how Rocky was able to adapt to his new home.
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Michael Smyth
1.
“He quickly unfolds this into a small cage. I look back to the farmer and he’s holding one of the puppies in his hands. I can feel the joy bubbling up inside my chest.” I liked this quote because you can really feel the narrators excitement when he is getting the puppy.
2.
Overall, I liked how the scene was very descriptive. The narrator put enough detail in describing the location of the farm and making the reader feel like they were there. It felt like I was experiencing the narrators joy when he is playing with the puppies.
3.
The author could have exclusively used the past tense which would make it feel more like a story. There were also moments in the story where the sentences could have been combined. This would have improved the flow of reading.
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While the story itself is cute- (and ironic because my families dog is also named rocky!) I feel it suffers from a very chronic “listing” syndrome. The sentences themselves are fine enough- but there are no transitions or life to any of the descriptions- they just feel like statements. Like the first paragraph for example-
“My neck was sore when I woke up. The car ride was 3 hours long; I was asleep for 2 and half of those hours. I realize that we must be close. A few minutes later, Dad tells me we’re here.”
Its descriptive yes- but in a very boring and bland way. The reader gets nothing besides the details- no room for our brains to fill in the empty space. I think the story would deeply benefit from a second run at editing- focusing on style and voice.
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Sameeksha Agrawal Dhandhania
Favorite Line or Image
“They flapped their ears in the air as they ran around the pen.”
This line really stood out to me because it was just so vivid and full of life. You can see the dogs and the tension at that moment in your mind instantly — made me smile. Having had pets dogs myself, it made me think of my own dog and just how great those little things are.
What I particularly liked was how simple yet emotive the story was. The bond between the dog and the narrator felt very real. I also liked the way the story depicted a full circle of emotion within such a short work — from euphoria to sorrow, and finally peace. It never felt like it was trying too hard. You could tell that it was written from the heart.
The thing I noticed most was that the narrative shifts between tenses inconsistently, and that is slightly disconcerting. One second it’s past tense, and then suddenly it switches to present tense. Making the whole narrative in past tense would most probably make it clearer and easier to follow. Starting with “My neck was sore when I woke up” also felt somewhat like a default to me. Maybe beginning with a more emotive or specific detail would draw the reader in faster.
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Hilary McRae
I found this story to have a good direction, and I did see a clear timeline of the author’s visit to the farm/story. But it was very simplistic, almost one-dimensional. Sentences like: “We get out of the car. It’s cloudy out. It was raining before we got to the farm.” could be improved by adding more details to each part. More sentences like the following would elevate their writing: “Even through the fog, you can see rolling hills covered in trees and long grass meadows for as far as the eye can see,” as it creates a bigger picture with more details.
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Evan Kean
This story brings me back to when I picked up my dog with my mother, now about 12 years ago. Our dog was one of nine, and when we only took our dog, I became upset that we didn’t take every single dog from the litter. Overall, it is a decent story, showing the emotions of the main character and really going into his head. The story can, at times, feel a little boring. And I believe most importantly, the reason the family went to the farm was described very well, but only at the end of that paragraph are readers told that the animals in question are puppies – I was reading that paragraph and spent some time confused.
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Lark Wigfall
This story was clear and easy to follow. The descriptions of the foggy landscape, the drive to the farm, and the initial meeting with the puppies made it easy to visualize scene. The shift from excitement (playing with the puppies) to heartache (choosing just one) was handled in a way that showed the change in tone without being overly dramatic. The part where the second puppy cries as his sibling is taken away is just heartbreaking.
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I really enjoyed how the story was setup as I could picture how everything looked really easily and loved the joy of being a child captured in the time dilation mentioned. I also felt empathetic to the thought of splitting the dogs up at the end. Overall, I think it’s a really great story. -Daulton Reader
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Shibanny Granados
One of my favorite images or lines the author brought into the story was his characterization of the dog pen. The dog pen and the imagery/ literacy used to describe the puppies and how it made the author or character feel made it sound real and flowed immensely with the passage.
The scene overall created an image of change within the text, when it transformed from “Before I can answer, the door is already open. Now I’m running around with them…” to “Until I look past him into the pen, where the second pup sits there, crying.” It creates a scene of emotional change and you can really imagine the feeling that the author introduced within the text.
How can it be better is the larger question? Well, in some cases, there could be a possible way for the text to be extended longer with more detail, but overall it captured its point well and showed how a real story could be told without overloading too much information.
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Zaeem
4/24
I think the overall story was amazing, its about a change in someones life and shows the impact a change may have on everyone potentially involved. We notice the little things when achieving our happens, but seem to forget how it may impact others. In this story we noticed how the authors adopting a new pet and when realization is very excited, but then the author actually shifts to how the puppies feel, something we usually forget about. I can relate to when I adopted my kitten, we were all so happy and excited about him but everyone didn’t really realize how he just left his two twin brothers and Mom. At the end of the day I believe its fine, they are starting a new and hopefully better life with the new family.
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Andrew Brown (April 24th 10:45 p.m.)
I really enjoyed this story, especially the imagery used to describe the story. The author allows us to enter the pen with him and feel like we were there with the puppies. It also does a really good job at telling a really deep moral story where separation is one of the hardest things that can happen in life to anything or anyone. Even if it is temporary or in this case most likely forever. It takes a while to get over it and if the connection is strong enough you probably never will. You will get busy and have your mind on other things and then you will do something or see something that reminds of you of them and feeling rushes back. Although the story is heart wrenching I believe that eventually things panned out and everyone was happy in the end.
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My, 4/24
1) Favorite line or image, 2) What you liked about the scene overall (what is its potential?), 3) How can it be better?
My favorite line was “Their ears flapped through the air as they chased each other around the pen.” It was a really cute line that set the mood for that moment before Dominic started playing with the puppies.
I think this was a cute passage. It was short and a little bittersweet, which is hard to pull off well for something so short. It puts into perspective how puppies will be separated from their own families to be put into a family of strangers. “The further his brother gets from the chain-link fence, the louder his cries become.” Was a line that really put into perspective how sad the situation was. Puppies can have a lot of separation anxiety, and this doesn’t help at all. 😦
In regards to this work, I think a few details were kind of unnecessary. I didn’t really care for the farmer’s kids, and they had no relevance to the overall story. I questioned, why are the kids being mentioned? what will they do? and all they did were stare blankly and bring the other puppy inside.
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Sarah Rosanova
This story, “Rocky,” is a very touching narrative. It did a good job of putting me into the moment, especially with how the narrator described everything they were feeling. It felt like I was in the moment of the long car ride, the foggy farm, and the excitement of seeing the puppies for the first time. What stood out to me was the mix of emotions of happiness and sadness. How excited the narrator was to meet the puppies, but then how sad they were to leave one behind. I enjoyed the ending; it was very sweet and comforting, especially when they promised to take good care of Rocky. This showed how strong a bond between people and animals truly can be, even from the very first time of meeting.
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I really liked this writing for a multitude of reasons. For one it was about dogs. As an owner of three dogs myself I love to read about dogs, anything that has to do with them really. I also understand how hard it is to see multiple at once and not be able to scoop them all up and take them with you. I also think in general this is a nicely written story. I think its realistic for the point of view we are given. And honestly the ending made me kind of sad because I know my line of thought would be the exact same.
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Abbie Hanson
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Nisrine Ezzarhouni
A moment that stood out to me was when the narrator saw the second puppy crying as they took the first one home. It was such a small detail, but it made the whole scene feel way more emotional and real. I think a lot of kids would feel that same mix of excitement and guilt in that situation, and the story captured it really well without having to over explain it. I also liked the way the writer described the puppies, like how their ears flapped while they ran around. That kind of detail helped me picture the scene and feel more connected to it. I think the ending was sweet too, with the narrator promising to take care of Rocky. If anything, I think the story could be even stronger if the writer added a bit more about what the narrator was thinking when he saw the other puppy go inside with the farmer’s kids. That part felt important, and it would’ve been nice to see more of what was going on in his head. Still, overall, it felt really genuine and captured that complicated mix of joy and sadness.
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Michael Lagrutta
1.
My favorite imagery in this story comes from the final lines. “Mom gives me the new collar. I slide it over my new dog’s head and hold him close. It has two things written on it; our home phone number, and his name, Rocky.” I appreciated this because I found it to be very successful at immersing me into the scene and helping me visualize it.
2.
Overall, I liked the general premise of the story and the presence of multiple characters. The inclusion of these different members of the story contributes to the “world-building” and prevents the text from feeling stale. This also gives the author lots of potential to explore the various emotional perspectives of each character.
3.
This story could be improved through the reworking of some of its initial description of scenes and situations. The writing style towards the beginning felt kind of clunky or choppy. It read as if the author was very obviously trying to be descriptive, but this did not necessarily add to immersion. A more natural flow or style of introduction would be very beneficial.
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Eddie Zheng
I like description and emotion the author puts into the writing. He builds an emotional connection with the puppies which makes the separation sad. I could imagine a child playing with two puppies and crying when he realizes that he is separating them. I agree with the video critiquing the writing. I was also curious why the children had blank faces, and I felt like the author could have expanded on that. Overall, I think the story is sad yet heartwarming because this is an experience that many people have to face.
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Nate Christine
Dominic’s “Rocky” is an emotionally rich story. It captures some of the most important memories from the child’s life. there are complicated themes, feelings of joy and loss. I felt the details were able to draw the reader into the story and left a meaningful impression
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Sebastian Motsch
I like how the story really captured the emotional journey of a child receiving a puppy. The article illustrates a few of the typical writing problems discussed in the episode: Many beginning writers use the “waking up” cliché in the opening. The story alternates between the past tense (“My neck was sore”) and the present tense (“I realize that we must be close”), which results in irregular tense shifts. Because of this, reading becomes more exciting as the story goes on.
Notwithstanding these problems, the author excels at telling moving stories. When the child learns they can only take one puppy while the other cries, a genuine conflict is created. The conclusion, in which the child names their new pet “Rocky” and comforts it, offers gratifying closure. The farmer’s children’s “blank expressions” and the description of the scene provide an intriguing atmospheric element.
The author could do better by sticking to the past tense throughout and thinking of a more lively opening that doesn’t require waking up.
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Nate Humenik
I am impressed with Dominic’s ability to turn a story that took place over the span of probably fifteen minutes and can be explained in three sentences into a full short story. I don’t think it answers the question of “why should the reader care,” and leaves you with more questions than answers about included details; like the expressionless children.
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Megan Dulany
This was a really cute and simple story that made me think of when I first got my dog in 2021. We had a very similar situation where there was a whole litter but we could only take one. The writing is so clear that it’s really easy to place yourself into the story and what’s happening in it. I think it’s also interesting how the author doesn’t immediately tell you that they’re on the way to pick up a puppy. Instead, the author writes, “The farmer leads us over to the pen. There’s two of them in there. They’re both young, no more than 6 weeks old.” These sentences lead readers to anxiously try and guess what the author is describing, making us feel a similar emotion to how the speaker must’ve felt when they were anxiously waiting to meet the puppies.
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Jack Montgomery
I was really engaged with the story and enjoyed the intro. I appreciated the detailed description of the farm as it brought me into the story and location. Dominic does a great job conveying the emotions felt by him and the puppy succinctly. thus this part has a good raw weight to it and doesn’t feel over dramatized or exacerbated. The part of leaving one of the puppy’s behind is emotionally felt and reminds the reader that even the puppy’s have emotion too, even if your getting a pet the puppy’s loosing a brother.
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Niharika Roy
This was a very simple story. I liked how structured and clear the timeline was. One scene flowed to the next. I did find the descriptions very vague and surface level. I wished to know more about the people and the dog. But I really enjoyed the sequence of events. You could tell they were coming from a long drive into an unknown area. I also enjoyed how you did not know what they were here for until it was revealed by the author.
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I think the author conveyed the story really well and the emotions they felt at the time. I like how it opened with a relatable scene so more readers would be able to connect to the author and be more engaged in the story. I also like the reveal, “Until I look past him”, and how the sudden change in emotions was depicted in the story. My only critique would be some small things like in the first paragraph, “their ears flapped”, when the author was using present tense in the previous sentences, took me out of the story a little bit as it seems more like a memory being looked back on, than something the reader is experiencing with or through the narrator.
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Jewel Gyabaa-Amponsah
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Alexa Cuevas
Overall I think the story is descriptive and does a good job at invoking the sadness but also joy the narrator experiences in this moment getting a new puppy through this fairly short story. I do however feel like beginning is sort of unnecessary, the story could easily have started with the narrator arriving at the farm. In the beginning I also had a lot of questions about what was happening but the as the story goes on it does a eventually end up explaining a lot. I might be a good idea to mention near the beginning of the story something about maybe being nervous or excited to get a puppy that way the reader has some idea about what is going to happen and what the story is about. I also would’ve liked more information on the farmer’s children because I found the description of the blank expressions very interesting and it made me wonder why these children would be so emotionless. Is it because they don’t want to give their puppy way? Or is there something else going on?
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Michelle Galindo
The start of the story was told with such a great set-up in the order of the scenes. The author’s lines brought into the story his characterization of the dog pen and how it impacted us readers to feel his same emotions through his words. It made it sound real within the passage. It was short and bittersweet.
I really enjoyed this scene: “Their ears flapped through the air as they chased each other around the pen.” This is such a wholesome line that sets a mood for that moment before the turning point.
Overall, the short story was quite a good structure to read in a short time.
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Abu Kargbo
I find this story really smooth and easy to get through. It is simple but very descriptive if that makes sense. I was rooting for the dogs till the end but was sad when they had gotten split up. It was quick but had everything it needed to be a good story.
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Wendy Zhang
My favorite line was the description of the puppies: “their fur is brown like cinnamon.” It helped create a warm, vivid image in my head. I also liked how the story captures both the excitement of getting the new dog but also the sadness of leaving one behind, which made the scene more emotional and real. To make it even better, I think it could start closer to arriving at the farm, while shortening the part where you run around the puppies, and add a little more about how they felt when they saw the puppy crying to create more of an emotional impact on the readers.
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Sean Morgan
My favorite part of the story is the scene where all of the puppies are fighting for the narrator’s attention. The way that he describes wanting to play with the more timid pup while a more excited one jumps on him and tries to get his attention gets me invested in which he’ll end up choosing.
One thing that stood out to me as negative was the severe lack of anything that could break up the pacing of the story. The author gives this than this than this with no interruptions for dialogue or more abstract description. This lack of variety makes the story very difficult to read because everything looks the same. I actually found myself skipping whole lines without realizing it because of how same-y the story feels.
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Reva Arun
This story really captures a mix of emotions in a subtle but powerful way. The buildup from the quiet, foggy car ride to the excitement of meeting the puppies feels really natural, and the descriptions make the setting feel vivid without overdoing it. What stood out most was how the narrator’s excitement turns into sadness when they realize only one puppy is coming home—it’s such a relatable moment, especially for anyone who’s had to make a tough choice like that. The ending, when they comfort the puppy and name him Rocky, ties everything together in a hopeful way. It feels honest and emotional, like something a lot of people could connect with, especially at a time in life when we’re starting to realize how complicated even happy moments can be.
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You did a great job painting vivid imagery of the farm and the puppies—it really pulled me into the scene. I especially liked how you captured the contrast between the excitement of playing with the puppies and the emotional shift at the end. One suggestion: consider expanding on the narrator’s emotions during the final moment to deepen the impact even more.
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I enjoyed this story and the way that the author revealed and told the story in a very natural way. The timing worked realistically—from the sleepy drive to the somber, foggy arrival at the farm—and helped make the puppy meet-and-greet that much more enchanting. I appreciated how suspense was created by not telling the reader why they were there initially until the puppies were brought in. This added a lot of life and emotional depth to the story. The section that moved me most was the emotional contrast between the playing with the puppies and sadness of leaving one behind. It was touching to see how the narrator, who was still a young child at the time, felt that loss and tried to comfort the puppy he kept. I also still couldn’t help but wonder about the other characters, especially the farmer’s children and the blank expressions on their faces. Were they accustomed to saying goodbye to animals? Did they carry as much weight? I think these background elements would have added to the sad part of the story and had me thinking after the last line.
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Neghisti Ghebremedhin
I enjoyed this story and the way that the author revealed and told the story in a very natural way. The timing worked realistically—from the sleepy drive to the somber, foggy arrival at the farm—and helped make the puppy meet-and-greet that much more enchanting. I appreciated how suspense was created by not telling the reader why they were there initially until the puppies were brought in. This added a lot of life and emotional depth to the story. The section that moved me most was the emotional contrast between the playing with the puppies and sadness of leaving one behind. It was touching to see how the narrator, who was still a young child at the time, felt that loss and tried to comfort the puppy he kept. I also still couldn’t help but wonder about the other characters, especially the farmer’s children and the blank expressions on their faces. Were they accustomed to saying goodbye to animals? Did they carry as much weight? I think these background elements would have added to the sad part of the story and had me thinking after the last line.
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Ava Karnsomtob
My favorite line of the story was “I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I start to cry along with the lonely pup in the pen” because it really captured how upset the kids was when he saw only one pup in the cage. Overall, I thought this was a cute story and who the storyline was played out. Something that had confused me is when talking about the farmers kids it doesn’t give us a lot of information about them and why did they have blank expressions on their faces. Overall I thought this was a cute and simple short story.
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I enjoyed reading your essay so much!
You wrote such a wonderful depiction of the farm in the fog, and the puppies running around. The part where you had to leave one puppy behind was just so sad, and it broke my heart for you and the puppy. I enjoyed how you concluded it on the name “Rocky” and that tiny act of reassurance. It was just such an authentic and emotional story, and it felt really true. You did a wonderful job!
Jyot Sardhara
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Based on the student comments about Dominic’s story “Rocky,” several key themes emerge that reveal both the story’s strengths and areas for improvement. The narrative successfully captures the emotional complexity of childhood experiences, particularly the bittersweet moment when joy and sadness intertwine. Many readers praised the story’s ability to evoke genuine emotion, with Tracy Duong noting how the author maintained suspense by gradually revealing the purpose of the trip, and Tina Nguyen appreciating the “bittersweet” tone that makes readers feel both “pity for the puppy and empathetic towards the author.” The vivid imagery resonated strongly with readers, especially descriptions like “their ears flapped through the air as they chased each other around the pen” and “their fur is brown, like cinnamon,” which helped readers visualize and connect emotionally with the scene.
However, several technical and structural issues consistently emerged in the feedback. Multiple commenters identified the problematic tense shifts between past and present tense, which disrupted the reading flow.
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This piece does a great job capturing a quiet, emotional moment from a child’s perspective. Like explained in the videos, when reading I found it to be very emotionless. It’s not like that throughout however so there’s some inconsistency in the tone going into the second paragraph, personally I would have found away to keep the tone the same. That emotionless vibe is coming from the vivid visualization. “fog you can see rolling hills covered in trees and long grass meadows for as far as the eye can see.” “Their fur is brown, like cinnamon. Their ears flapped through the air as they chased each other around the pen.” The delivery of the lines in the first paragraph makes it all seem very oblique when it should be colorful. The change to second paragraph was sudden and that also threw me off.
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Ralph Akuta
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I really like this story. It reminds me of the first time we picked up my first dog. I noticed how the wording in this story is very dry and almost ready like bullet points. The author could use a different voice then they had in here, the writing feels like a not fully fleshed out memory and thought and more of a time line. This story had a positive impact on me mostly because of the very similar memory i have with picking up my first dog. We had to drive out as a family, much like in the story, and we got to pick up the puppy we had previously discussed witht he breeder about. We spent time with him and then eventually drove home.
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I rlly enjoyed this piece, mostly because of how heartfelt and cute it was. I think the emotions were very well described and really easy to feel the same way the author might have in that moment. I think some parts of the story could get a little confusing because of the order of some of the scenes. I think a bit more clarity would have made the story flow a bit better and easier to understand. But at the same time, I think this story did make the story more interesting to keep reading and made me wonder what was happening. Overall, I really enjoyed reading this story and it was a very well written piece.
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